April Showers

Posted: April 28, 2016 in Uncategorized

April has been, and remains to this day, one of my favorite months. Since Jacqi and I quit skiing (which cost us not a few friends, Like Bob and Carol Navratil, Tom and Margie Hoffman, and Ron and CB Bild, but others as well) it seems wise to reflect on friends and who they are. I write on occasion about reunions–people getting together after long absences. For example in my book Emerald, two lovers are reunited after 17 years; another two after more than 300 years.
I guess it has to do with me and with my inability to hold on to friends. I fortunately am married to a gregarious, loyal woman who loves me despite what other people think. I mentioned before that I am so right brained that I slant to that side when I walk, and many people have a hard time with that. I am a very different person in this regard: I’m always looking for new ways to do things.
At one point, when we lived in another suburb, a neighbor showed up at the front door and announced that she didn’t like me at all, and she had come to confess it. I didn’t have, and still don’t, why she felt compelled to tell me such an awful thing. Two nights later, the husband joined her and took us to a local park, where he confessed that he couldn’t stand me either. After a few moments of this self revelation, rendered under the guise of confession, they clearly felt better. As for me, it took me months to recover.
We had a meeting with these people and the elders of our church. My wife, Jacqi, demonstrated profound wisdom when she said, “Look. If I go to (she mentioned a name) and say ‘I have to confess that I really can’t stand your hairstyle’, for some reason, that doesn’t do anything but hurt her feelings. No matter how you feel, this can never work.”
I was incoherent with anger at this point and left. The other couple blamed the pastors who met with us and never acknowledged that they had any blame in the situation. We moved away from the neighborhood some time later, and felt better about it.
I guess that we who see the world differently tend to come under judgement by others who feel that it is wrong not to see the world as they, or the majority (if there is such a majority) are right, and people like me are wrong, wrong, wrong. Forgive me if I see the world differently.


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