The new Noah film struck hard last night. It held my attention, but only because I thought something was about to happen. It never did. Here’s the movie: Go to Turkey. Look at Mt. Ararat. Talk about how intimidating it is. Go up the mountain. Set up camp. Drill holes. Not find anything. Repeat. Repeat.
I’m telling you, this was a major disappointment. I don’t mean disappointing in that they thought they’d find the boat, which they didn’t, but because they charged me 24 bucks + another 10 samolians for a convenience charge to watch a bunch of guys freeze on the side of a mountain.
Fathom Entertainment has done some good stuff (to say the least) but this wasn’t one of them. At one point they drilled down and found some tar. They analyzed it under the microscope. They found that it was tar, with some fabric mixed in.
The end. They never did anything more with it.
No, actually, the film went on, and on. And on. Drill holes. Don’t find anything. Look rueful. Repeat.
The highlight of the film, frankly, was a discussion session with several of the guys who went on the expotition (to quote Winnie the Pooh–a much better story). They talked about personal faith, disappointment, camaraderie, etc. Etc. Etc. No answers, no help.
Look, If you want to make a movie about looking for a long lost artifact, find it!! If you don’t find it, put the movie off until you do. Don’t brag about your personal faith and how much it meant to you and how well the tools worked and how hard the conditions were and fellowship and all that and then clout your audience. 1.5 Stars