stagnation

Posted: September 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

As I’ve been playing golf the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that the water hazards at a couple of courses are covered with a vast layer of algae, weeds, and assorted green crud. It looks like it’s solid, so that if you skied a 9-iron, it would hit the pond scum and bounce out of the hazard.

No such luck, of course.

I’m a golf ball hoarder. I confess it freely. I really need to get rid of a huge barrel in the garage that is overflowing with water hazard or Out of Bounds stuff. Now, there is really no reason for me to hoard the balls. I play, to the exclusion of all others, a Titleist ProV or ProVii. So when I pick up, say, a Maxfli, or some other brand, I just toss it in my bag and clean the balls out once or twice a year, and then dump them in the barrel.

When my friend Norb died, I called his daughter and expressed my condolences. She thanked me and said, “Jeff can I ask you something?” I said ‘Sure.” She explained that her father had hoarded 3 garbage cans full of golf balls–even more than me. She asked what she could do with them apart from throwing them in the garbage. I gave her an address of a place in Florida that re-sells golf balls, and I think that they only take them in lots of 500 minimum.

Now I’m sitting here thinking, why don’t I get rid of all these clunkers I have? I can’t possibly use them! It occurred to me that this is a common human trait–hoarding. Nor am I, obviously, immune. I could do something with those things, get rid of a huge white elephant (or heffalump, cf Winnie the Pooh). But I keep putting it off.

Okay, here’s a goal. Get rid of the golf balls this week. I can do it.

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